Friendships are like plants and they need to be nurtured.
And just like plants, friendships either grow or die. If you’re in a friendship that’s not growing then you’ve got two options.
You either let it die on its own or you give up on that friendship by choice. The latter is harder but it also sets you free faster.
The sooner you let go of a dying friendship, the sooner you’ll have time to nurture your other friendships that are growing.
It’s better to have a couple of growing friendships than ten dying ones.
But how do you know if your friendships are growing or dying?
If it’s been more than a year since you are friend with someone and every time you meet you still do the same things as before, that’s a big sign.
It’s a sign that your past is going to determine your future. Now you can either continue and hope for the best (hint: it won’t be the best) or you can put an effort to make it grow.
You see, good friendships are like two-way streets. You need to put effort if you expect them to do the same in return.
So when you see the sign, you should try to improve your friendship by doing new and different things. You can give your friend a chance to help you evolve your friendship.
And if they care about it as much as you do, they’ll come along with you and you both grow your friendship together.
But if they keep insisting on doing the same old activities, then you’ve got your second sign.
This is the time that you can consider the giving up option. You should not need a third sign.
I bet you’ve already been in that situation before where you kept going and a couple of years later have realized you’ve wasted your time and energy.
Time is all you’ve got in this life. Why wait that long when you can see the signs?
Giving up on a friendship doesn’t have to be a bad experience and it can be done peacefully.
All you have to do is spend more time on the growing friendships which in return will leave you with no time to spend on the dying ones.
So when your friend calls you proposing the same old activities, you’ll be telling them about the cool new things you’re doing and after a couple of times, they’ll stop calling.
Also, when you give up on a friendship you don’t have to kill it by deleting them from Facebook unless you have nothing in common anymore.
You can still stay in touch with those you have things in common, especially if you care about them. You just don’t have to spend too much time and energy on them.
You could inspire them to evolve by showing them your growing friendships and who knows maybe things change and you can be real friends again.
I hope this has helped you realize the importance of a good friendship and has given you the courage you need to give up on a friendship that’s dying.
I’ve taken on a 90-day writing challenge to get better at writing. Every business day I write about my life lessons including wins and fails.
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