Why You Should Be Less Selfish

We all need to feel understood and cared for by others.

But that’s such a selfish expectation. It leaves everyone else behind because “others” have the same need too.

Kids are not selfish because we’re not born that way. We don’t know what it means to only care about the self. But as we grow up we become more selfish.

This gets worse once we start school. They teach us to look after ourselves so we can become stronger individuals. The only problem with that is it promotes selfishness.

Then we grow up and turn into adults who strive to have the best for ourselves. On our way to work we grab a coffee in the metro station, walk by a guy playing music and don’t even care to notice.

That’s the downside of being selfish. It makes us blind on what happens around us, good and bad. If we get used to not noticing the music, we soon get used to not noticing the pain.

There are times when being selfish is a good thing. Like loving yourself. But if everyone only kept everything to themselves this world would be a much different place.

Most of our biggest problems on earth come from being selfish. We become so selfish that we build walls around where we live and call them borders to keep others away.

Life is not always about us. We no longer live in the forests. There are people who are not as privileged as us and if we stay selfish they suffer and when that happens we all suffer.

Speaking of suffering, it’s worth to note that most of our own suffering are caused by being selfish. When we don’t get what we desired, we suffer.

Next time you’re upset about something, take a moment and ask yourself: who are you caring for? Who else is involved?

You can’t get upset about not getting something if you care about a cause bigger than yourself. You feel lonely when it’s all about you. By having a mission, you’ll find the help you need to achieve it.

Instead of wanting it all for you, ask for everyone. Don’t limit it to the people you know. Go beyond that. Wish it for all.

We can only reach abundance when everyone else also does. We can’t afford to be selective. It may serve us in the short term but it never does in the long term.

This doesn’t make sense to you? You prefer to stay selfish? No problem. The most selfish thing to do is to give selfishly. Give what you can so that it can come back to you.

That’s still selfish but at least it starts by you creating value for others before it serves you. It leaves a positive trace behind that others can benefit from and hopefully follow.

So to feel understood and cared for by others starts by you, not others. Be the neighbour you wish you had, be the brother you never had and like Gandhi said, be the change that you wish to see in the world.

It’s not easy, it takes effort but you know what? Nothing worth keeping comes easy. Don’t let that stop you. Be more kind and be less selfish.


I’ve taken on a 90-day writing challenge to get better at writing. Every business day I write about my life lessons including wins and fails.

Want to be a part of this journey and learn something new? Leave your email address below and get my next post in your inbox.